Lady Luck:
"Our next contestant works hard, plays hard, and most importantly: tries hard."
"Some might say TOO hard?"
"but that’s not our place to judge!"
"Instead, let’s give a warm welcome to…"
"… the Robot!"
Robot:
"Woo! Here we go!"
"Thank you, Lady Luck!"
"I’m really excited to begin this journey to a better self!"
Lady Luck:
"And what do you hope to win?"
Robot:
"I want to eliminate my need to sleep."
Lady Luck:
"… uh, I’m sorry?"
Robot:
"With an extra eight hours a day, I can truly become the best ‘me’ I can be!"
Lady Luck:
"Why not just play for immortality?"
"Then you’d have all the time in the world."
Robot:
"All the research shows that personal change is more sustainable if you start small."
"I’m gonna try for immortality next time!"
Lady Luck:
"Oh my dear!"
"There won’t be a next time."
"Just try to make the most of this one. In you go!"
Jester:
"What a wonderful batch of contestants you all are!"
"And what a beautiful victory!"
Robot:
"Thank you! I worked very hard!"
Jester:
"I can tell!"
"Now, fingers crossed as we SPIN THE WHEEL."
"Depending on how it lands, you'll either walk away with a prize, or we'll invite you back to join us for another episode!"
"Actually I'm going to uncross my fingers if that's okay with you?"
"The wheel's really heavy and I need to get a good grip…"
Robot:
"That's okay, I've got ALL my fingers and toes crossed."
"I know it doesn't change the outcome of the spin, but it helps me stay calm!"
Jester:
"Well, take a deep breath while the WHEEL SPINS aaaaaand…"
(Wheel spins)
Jester:
"...I'm so sorry!"
"It looks like you don't win a life without sleep - at least, not just yet."
"But you DO take home a secret bonus prize:"
"An expired 50% off voucher for your local pizza restaurant!"
"And of course, you'll get the chance to return to the Dungeons in another episode…"
Lady Luck:
"BZZZZT! BEEP! It’s our little optimised optimist the Robot!"
"How are the calculations coming along, my dear?"
Robot:
"They’re good!"
"Er, I don’t really beep, you know."
Lady Luck:
"I do know, yes. Still keen to be the very best version of yourself?"
Robot:
"Well! Yes!"
"But I was wondering…"
"Since I’ve completed some of my episodes…"
"Could I maybe leave now and just win, say, two hours less sleep a night?"
Lady Luck:
"Oh, what an interesting idea! Let me have a think…"
"No. No, you obviously can’t."
"Haven’t you been paying any attention at all?"
"Get back in the dungeons, pal-culator."
Lady Luck:
"Hey! How’s the self-improvement going?"
"Are you the best possible version of yourself yet?"
"I only want top-quality minions in my dungeons."
Robot:
"… not yet! But I’m gonna try harder."
"I’m still going to win."
Lady Luck:
"Ah, bless your heart. Never give up hope."
"Keep believing that this time, THIS time, it might all be okay…"
Robot:
"It might!"
"You know what? I think it will be! I can feel it!"
Lady Luck:
"Well, you’d better hope it happens soon - your time’s running out, so quick, get in there and get fighting…"