Yolanda
Found In: her shop (which can be on dungeon floors 2-5)Function/Job: shopkeeper, sells cards and items to the player
Pronouns: she/her
Description
Yolanda is a pale blue-green monster with black eyes, a slit nose, wide grin, small curved horns, and blue-gray hair done up in three pigtails. One pigtail is on the top of her head, the other two below her long pointed ears. She has a swoop of hair coming down just over her eyebrows in three prongs. She wears dark blue-green hairbands, a bandanna in the same color, and a blue-green t-shirt with sleeve cuffs the same color as her hairbands. She also has bright red, thick, square rimmed glasses with dark tinted lenses, which sit atop her head rather than over her eyes.
Yolanda is friendly and bright, always happy to see whatever contestant (or minion) comes through her shop. She also has a humorous streak.
She is siblings with Val and Ned. She runs the shop wagons seen on the dungeon floors.
Quotes
First Encounter:
“Oh, a new adventurer! Come on in! Welcome to Dungeon Supplies 4 U - I've got some great stuff in stock. Need socks? Weapons? A small houseplant?”
Main Game:
“Come in! Yolanda's got some amazing products in stock today! Yolanda's also speaking in the third person again - oops!”
“What are you after? Something shiny, something swooshy, something that seems useful but isn't? We've got 'em all!”
“Ah you've just missed out on an amazing little beret. But we've got plenty of other options in stock!”
“Have a look around! I just sold the last waffle maker, but maybe something else will take your fancy?”
“Oh we've just had a delivery of some *very* stylish scarves - no? Just the fighting stuff? Fair enough!”
“Can I tempt you with some wooden spoons? An ice-making machine? No? Wow, you're one single-minded shopper!”
“Been saving up your gold pieces? Well, you can't take ‘em with you! Might as well splurge while you can!”
“Hey there! What do you fancy? I'd offer a discount but honestly the sales targets down here are INTENSE.”
“So good to see you! Come in, come in! Did you sign up to our loyalty card scheme yet?”
“Need a carrier bag? Oh! You brought a backpack? That's well prepared AND environmentally friendly!”
“We've just had a delivery of fresh carrots from the Gardener! Great for helping you see down here! What? The show's well lit? Maybe next time then!”
“I've been working on a new slogan for the shop: 'Spend your coins here - there's literally nowhere else!' What do you think?”
“I'm so glad to see you! I'm stuck on a crossword clue. "Underground prison", 7 letters starting with D. Any idea?”
“Oh! You're just in time! I'm about to unveil our new cheese counter - care for a sample? It's.... un-BRIE-lievable!”
“I *love* your energy and determination! Ever considered opening a shop of your own?”
“Welcome back! Take your time - I only want satisfied customers. As my old nan used to say: second place is for losers!”
“It's so nice to see you! Here, I set aside a few bits and pieces I thought you might like...”
“Hello there! Thinking of settling down in the dungeons yet? Well, I'll keep this microwave by in case you change your mind!”
“Back for more weapons? Not interested in an engraved fountain pen? Well, I guess the customer is always right!”
“Hey, friend! Is it okay if I call you that? I'm beginning to feel like we know each other pretty well!”
“Welcome back! Have a browse, have a wander, let me know if you have any questions...”
“It's just wonderful to see you and your buddies so determined to fight! It's like you don't know you're hopelessly doomed!”
“Hey, just so you know, I set a carpet aside for when you all decide to settle down and make yourselves home round here!”
“Oh, hello again! Want to know why my Dungeon shop is so successful? The overheads are really low! Ahahahahaha!”
“Welcome! Welcome! The book group's meeting in the back - or are you here for shopping? That's fine, carry on, have a browse!”
“Hey there! Just window shopping, or are you here to buy? I've got some bargains in today!”
“Hey, come on in! Just so you know, we're happy to match any lower prices you come across... just kidding, we're the only shop in the Dungeons, so I guess it's take it or leave it!”
“It's you again! We've just got some new stock in - I hope there's something we can tempt you with!”
“Here for some more weapons? We've got a deal on pool toys - no? The fighting stuff it is, then!”
“Hi there! It's book group day again, if you're interested? The Kraken's leading us in a big Tennyson discussion... no? Well, let's have a look at what we've got in stock!”
“Hey, come on in! Have a browse! All our stock is battle-ready and comes with a seven day return policy! Wait, no, sorry, I misread that - it comes with NO seven day return policy.”
“It's nice to see you around here so often! Let's have a look at whether I've got anything that might help you out in these next few battles...”
“Hey there, what are you after this time? Just kidding, I know you only want the fighting stuff! Let's see what we've got...”
“Welcome! We have some AMAZING deals on jugs and vases, but I do see it'd be hard to get them out of the dungeons without breaking! So let's see what we have for battles...”
“Hi, come on in! And if you want to join in the book group, they're out the back - Aoife's getting really into the Count of Monte Cristo...”
If the player is Bear:
“Come in, come in! You're looking great! Very hairy, very ravenous, it suits you. But I'm so sorry, I don't think I have anything in your size today.”
If Player Buys Everything:
“Wow, you bought everything! Good for you! You clearly know a bargain when you see one!”
Backstage:
“What a fun group you are! Hiking around through the Dungeons like this!”
”Here, I've got something for you. On the house.”
”You know what?”
”I love it here in the Dungeons, but if you don't...”
”...maybe you SHOULDN'T actually have to stay here for all eternity!”
”I hope you teach Lady Luck a lesson!”