This dialogue is only accessible when playing the Backstage episode.
"Well, hello, my doomed little dicelings!"
Jester:
"Oh no…"
Lady Luck:
"Oh yes! Now, what are you doing backstage?"
"Ready to give up on your dreams and go to minion training?"
Warrior:
"We’re leaving! And you can’t stop us."
Jester:
"She totally can, sorry."
Lady Luck:
"… yeah, I definitely can."
"Or haven’t you been paying attention?"
Inventor:
"We’ve been playing a LOT of attention."
"We’ve fought through your dungeons."
"We’ve beaten your bosses."
"we’ve won EVERY SINGLE EPISODE!" (this line appears ONLY if every single episode has been won)
"And yet we’re still trapped down here thanks to your rigged WHEEL OF LIES!"
"You’re a cheat and this game ISN’T FAIR so we’re going home!"
Lady Luck:
"MINIONS! THE DOORS! ENTER LOCKDOWN!"
Jester:
"Once the doors are locked, that’s it, we’re stuck backstage until we give up."
"I’m really sorry, friends. But at least we tried."
Witch:
"No! I’m not giving up!"
"And i’m not going to stay BACKSTAGE for ever!"
"Quick, can anyone make it through the last door before it closes?"
Choose Warrior:
"I can do it! Just hold on!"
"We've come this far, I'm gonna get you all, I promise!"
Choose Thief:
"I can make it!"
"But if you think I'm risking myself to come back and get you lot, you're... you're..."
"..."
"UGH, I guess you're right. FINE."
"Hold on, I'm gonna come and get you out!"
Choose Robot:
"Okay! Okay! I can do this!"
"You'll be okay, just wait for me!"
"Keep calm, remember those breathing exercises I taught you."
"AAAAA IT'S ALL DOWN TO ME WHAT DO I DO, WHAT DO I DO?"
"BREATHE IN, 2, 3, 4! HOLD, 2, 3, 4! OUT, 2, 3, 4!"
Choose Inventor:
"I THINK I've got the hang of how the Dungeons work now, so just wait for me..."
"I'll get you as fast as I can..."
Choose Witch:
"I'm gonna get you!"
"I'm gonna fight my way through and I'm gonna find you and then..."
"We're ALL GOING HOME!"
Choose Jester:
"Yes! I can make it!"
"It’s my turn to play the hero!"
"I’m coming to get you! All of you! And the Frog, and Baby Squid, and EVERYONE."
"We’re gonna beat Lady Luck and we’re gonna LEAVE THE DUNGEONS!
"Just you wait and see!"
Head over to Lady Luck (boss)!
Lady Luck:
"Nooooooooo! IMPOSSIBLE!"
"…"
"… … …and AMAZING."
Witch (if not played):
"You found us!"
Inventor (if not played):
"You did it! And you brought the minions!"
Robot (if not played):
"You didn’t give up! I’m so happy to see you!"
Unspecified Contestant:
"Wait, confetti?"
"What’s happening?"
"Why are those lights flashing?"
Lady Luck:
"Because you won, you big silly billy!"
"You refused to abandon your friends!"
"You put aside your differences with the minions!"
"… and you gave up your worldly desires and beat me!"
Thief:
"… and you’re… you’re not angry?"
Lady Luck:
"Oh my dear, no, of course not!"
"You’ve done BRILLIANTLY.
"Gosh, when was the last time we had a real live victory?"
"Jester darling, can you fetch the records?"
Jester:
"No! I’m not your minion anymore!"
"And we don’t have records anyway!"
Lady Luck:
"Oh, hmmm, are you sure?"
"Tiny pink octopus! Go see if you can find any records!"
"I’ve been waiting SO long for someone to actually win this game, you wouldn’t BELIEVE."
Jester:
"I feel like it would’ve happened sooner if you hadn’t MADE THE GAME SO HARD and DIDN’T CHEAT!"
Lady Luck:
"But then what would’ve happened to your journey of self-realisation?"
"Now, everyone pose for a photo…"
"… beaaaautiful."
"SUCH a magnificent little bundle of fighters."
"Come on, one more, I want something to remember you by when you’re gone!"
Unspecified Contestant:
"When we’re gone… So… we’re free to go? All of us?"
Lady Luck:
"Of course!"
Warrior:
"… but I don’t get to be super strong?"
Lady Luck:
"No."
Witch:
"And I don’t get my followers?"
Lady Luck:
"No. Your prize is self knowledge, darling, I thought we’d covered that."
Witch:
"ALSO, I can’t help but notice that I’m still a giant walking dice?"
Lady Luck:
"Yes, and? Is there some sort of problem?"
"Now, one more big smile! Say cheese!"
Robot:
"…"
"Okay. Look."
"I can deal with having to sleep.
"And I’ve gotten kinda used to the dice thing."
"But what about the minions? Are they free to go as well?"
Inventor:
"Yeah, we would never have made it out without them."
Lady Luck:
"Honestly, my loves, they’re all very settled here."
"They might grumble a little, but they have families and vegetable gardens and everything."
Warrior:
"That’s not the point! They fought with us!"
"And they won!"
Lady Luck:
"… ah, I suppose you’re right. They were VERY brave."
"I’ll tell you what, they can leave if they really want to."
"And if they don’t I’ll see if that employee suggestion box opens."
"I miiiiight increase everyone’s holiday leave…"
Jester:
"WHAT holiday leave?"
Lady Luck:
"From nothing, dear. I’ll increase it from nothing!"
"My goodness, can’t you just enjoy your confetti?"
Jester:
"…"
"Okay, I guess it’s pretty good confetti."
Lady Luck:
"Let’s all give one LAST BIG SMILE and think about the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve fought so valiantly in these dungeons."
"In some cases we fought side by side, and maybe in other cases we fought in vicious opposition, but the important thing is…"
"… that we did it together."
"Ah, my precious little dice-keteers!"
"My real live winners!"
"It’s been SUCH a delight having you here."
"Please, PLEASE, do drop by anytime.
"I absolutely promise I’ll let you leave again."
"Now, did we ever make any end credits?"